Reparenting yourself out of Ghanaian timidity culture
The older I get the more I realize Ghanaian parents don't raise confident children-they raise compliant kids who are cultivated and guilted into living an empty life of making their parents proud regardless of their own identity and personal ideologies.
Ghanaian parents value timidity in their children --failing to foster self-esteem and self awareness in the name of culture, religion and tradition.
They raise children to not speak their minds, to excessively and unnecessarily say "please," to respect their abusers, to accept whatever is given to you even if you don't like or want it, to choose a corporate or medical profession that makes them (your parents) look good, don't question authority/pastors/teachers and if you are raped it's your fault.
Comply or be shunned.
Many Ghanaian children become miserable adults who are overly polite, docile, have a repressed identity, live in fear of being themselves, are passive and unable to make decisions---they stay in expired relationships/marriages out of fear of the stigma of divorce, take on soulless careers that look good on paper and often times live a double life of lies and infidelity-both men and women. But they have great wedding photos!
Ghanaian timidity culture can also manifest itself in professional environments leaving you writing emails that are too nice, being too kind to horrible management, ignoring acts of racism or accepting sexual harassment as normal all because you've been raised to not to speak up because it's 'disrespectful.'
Depression, suicide, mental health illness, alcoholism, drug addiction, anger, aggression and other ills are some of the side effects of living an inauthentic life of making your parents proud and not living for yourself leaving you chagrined while actively participating in the 'erosion of your soul.'
I don't write this to shame anyone as I was this child but to encourage you to shift your mindset into asking yourself who are you really living for.
You dont have to go to church/temple/mosque if you truly don't want to (I don't), release the notion that marriage is a mark of success because it's not, be a dancer, writer, fashion designer and choose all careers that give you joy, have all the honest, satisfying consensual sex with whomever you please, heal your inner child and REPARENT yourself.
I love you just the way you are---I know your Ghanaian parents will never tell you this. It's not the culture. 🇬🇭🥰